Height Inequities

The average height of a woman in the US is five feet, four inches tall.

I am almost exactly five feet, four inches tall.

So why, I ask, must I hem every single pair of pants I purchase, at $14 a pop!?

An Open Letter to the Producers of the Today Show

Dear Producers:

I am aware that the Today Show is no Frontline. I get that, really I do. And on that basis, each morning as I slog through a run on the treadmill while watching some tv chef show Matt Lauer how to make chicken nuggets even more exciting for kids, or a ridiculous segment titled "Five Ways To Talk About Infidelity," I set aside my typical tv snobbishness and just relax my brain a little. That's really what the show is all about. Over the summer, I enjoyed your coverage of the Olympics tremendously.

And yet: in an election year, when in just a few weeks votes will be cast that stand to affect everyone's lives for decades to come, and we are collectively freaking out over a financial crisis that few people understand, I simply can't stomach your endless coverage of a non-story like the disappearance of Caylee Anthony in Florida. This morning I practically flipped off the treadmill in outrage over a pointless interview with a tv judge who is in no way even involved in the related legal proceedings. Obviously it's sad when a little girl goes missing, and even sadder if her mother is implicated in a sinister fashion, but is this news worthy of broadcasting to over five million people? Now? With so much else going on? I mean, although I found your segment on fire safety to amount to little more than an advertisement for sprinkler systems, at least it's true that people's lives can be saved by such devices. For that matter, people's lives can at least be improved by tastier chicken, and possibly even by engaging in dialogue about infidelity.

I simply fail to see how encouraging our most simplistic, voyeuristic tendecies to analyze and comment on an isolated tragedy happening to one innocent family helps anyone. Thrusting these people into the national spotlight only diverts attention from the issues of the day that really matter. Or at least make the world a little easier to live in.

Sincerely,
The Venter

A Return Guest Post: Facebook Etiquette

Today, I bring you the latest guest vent from my friend The Parker, who broaches a subject that I'm sure will become a recurring theme as time goes on: Facebook and its seemingly endless potential for troublesome social interactions.

I went to a small college (graduated 10+ years ago!) and now on Facebook I have been "friending" and being "friended by" many past classmates. Recently I became Facebook friends with one past classmate who I was not particularly close with, but I did play a role in her meeting the man who eventually became her husband. When I put in a friend request to her husband, he did not accept it. I have no idea why not, but I decided he was rude, so I un-friended her and I blocked him for good measure.

To which I say, right on! and add another related comment of my own: just because we went to high school together 15 years ago - in a class of over 500 students - does not mean I wish to be connected to you on Facebook.  If we knew each other, even if not very well, by all means, friend-request away. That's fair game. But: if I have no idea who you are, what gives you the idea I might be interested in photos of your hiking trip in Peru or your status updates detailing the adorable things your children say? And I am certainly not prepared to have my own photo albums open to scrutiny by every yahoo who happened to grow up in New Jersey. If your name doesn't ring a bell, it's just not happening, buster.

It's All About Timing

Lately, it seems like every time I allow extra travel time to get someplace, factoring in the lately-nutso city traffic, my terrible luck with finding cabs, etc....then without fail I find a cab right away, zip up whatever avenue, and wait around self-consciously at some restaurant or bar for whoever I am meeting. On the other hand, those days when I debate the extra three outfits and two pairs of shoes, I have to make a quick stop for a bottle of wine, say, to bring to a party, and the next thing I know I'm leaving ten minutes late, well: watch out New York, because somehow, some way, the trains will stop running, broken-down trucks will flood every street, and every single cab in town will be occupied.

But then, much of life depends on timing. A matter of degree, really.

A Return to the Smaller Things

This guest post generously donated by a friend on Facebook*:

Why do people park at an angle? Earlier this evening I was at the store, and when I came out, a giant SUV was parked at an angle next to me. Given that I drive a tiny car, it was not impossible to get out of the spot, but not easy either. Luckily, the woman who owned the giant SUV came out and I had the opportunity to give her my scary teacher look. She apologized, but I said nothing, given that I wasn't willing to forgive her.

My favorite part, of course, is the withholding of forgiveness. Why should someone be forgiven for failing to conform to the norms of civilized society? It is perfectly obvious that when you park at an angle, you are making things difficult for the drivers around you. Everyone knows this. It really should be ok to hold at least small grudge over such a blatant lack of courtesy!

*As a reminder, once again, I really do encourage these submissions. Sharing is fun! Vent out your anger! In these shaky economic times, even the small things can be even more annoying than usual. Bring it on, people.

Debating the Debate

No, this isn't a political blog, and yes, all vents on here are supposed to be strictly trivial. So, while it would be very easy for me to go on at length here about my many, many reservations about Sarah Palin as a vice-presidential candidate, and lament the idiocy of an electorate that actually thinks it is a plus she's just an average "Joe Six-pack" (what does that even mean?), I will leave that up to the thousands of bloggers who are already focusing on such issues.

I would, however, like to address an aspect of SP's candidacy that has lately been making my blood boil: the implication, in venerated publications like the New York Times no less, that Joe Biden needs to slip on his kid gloves for tonight's Vice Presidential debate, not because SP has all the intellect of an amoeba, but...because she is a woman. Seriously?

This suggestion, which I have seen in various media outlets, makes me uncomfortable for several reasons. For one thing, I very much doubt that were we still on planet Earth and the debate was between, say, Joe Lieberman and Hillary Clinton, that any commentators would feel the need to caution old Joe about inadvertent condescension. OK, you might be thinking, but let's chalk that up to the vast gulf between the respective experience levels of SP and HRC.

Except for this: I very, very much doubt that if the debate were between Joe Biden and a man possessing a complete lack of credentials to serve the US as Vice President, we'd be hearing a similar sort of cautionary tone. No, in fact, I think pretty much everyone would be saying - or even shouting - aloud what pretty much everyone's thinking right now: CLOBBER THAT MORON.

Which in turn raises the question, why do we still not believe that a fair fight can be had between a man and a woman? I've heard lots of people muse in the past couple of weeks that Biden just might make SP cry. Would anyone say that if SP were male? And getting back to the HRC comparison, aren't we maybe just a little bit guilty of characterizing these two women differently in part because SP trades so heavily on her status as a woman - with the skirts and the lipstick and the 19 children and the updo and the smiling and the lipstick - while HRC has spent the better part of the last 30 years perfecting the art of being one of the guys? It's like women come in two varieties - regular and lite, say - and we consider regular to be on par with men, but not lite, no ma'am.

I digress somewhat, but all of this is really to say "c'mon now" to anyone who's argued that there should be one iota of difference between the way Biden will debate tonight, and the way he might debate a male opponent. All the lipstick in the world shouldn't shield this impostor from her demonstrated ability to answer a question directly. How sad for women everywhere if Biden treads too carefully, and SP's nonsensical talking points score actual points with voters.

Please, Joe. Clobber that moron.

I Knew There Had to Be A Conspiracy

One of my biggest all-time pet peeves is junk mail, and now I know the reason for it: greed. Seems the post office is not content simply sliding into obsolescence, and the result is that sometimes innocent online shoppers like me can't even find their Rosh Hashana cards or Trina Turk sales announcements in their mailboxes amidst the onslaught of dwr/Bloomingdales/Bluefly catalogs and/or coupons. I keep waiting to lose a friend over somehow missing an invitation to a wedding or child's birthday party because 17 Corcoran brokers have my address and aren't afraid to use it. And, I'm not alone! According to that Newsweek article, "89 percent of consumers say in polls that they'd prefer not to receive direct-marketing mail; 44 percent of it is never opened." I mean, in that case, what's the point! I am appalled that the proposed Do Not Mail bills haven't passed (but, ahem, given recent political events, not especially surprised).

I am definitely giving GreenDimes a try, which claims it can stop up to 90% of my junk mail. If that's true, I'll be delighted.